Honor is often talked about as being a core value, but never really understood or explained. Honor places value on people. When you honor someone you’re saying “I have value for you.” Honor creates a safe place for people to become their best. If you want to build a thriving team that’s both productive and happy…it all starts with cultivating honor.
What is Honor?
Honor technically means to hold in high esteem, to regard with great respect, or to revere. To me honor is viewing and treating people the way God views and treats them.
I remember learning about honor while attending a ministry school in Franklin, TN. It was one of the best lessons I’ve ever learned. During the lesson we broke up into groups and practiced honoring one another.
We showed honor by getting down on our knees, looking up at the person…looking them in the eyes, and telling them what we like about them and how we see them.
It was a very freeing experience…but it was difficult. Many of us have problems with eye contact. I think it stems from not wanting to truly be known…well…cultivating honor brakes that. It shows that we are known and we are loved.
“Leaders who want a culture of honor so they’ll be treated better miss the point. Honor is the atmosphere in which the people of God become their best.” Bill Johnson
Honor cultivates an atmosphere where people become their best. People are free to become their best because they feel valued.
“One of the most vital core values for creating a safe place where people can be free is honor. Honor is the relational tool that protects the value that people have for those who are different than they are.” Danny Silk
Honor places value on people. When you honor someone you’re saying “I have value for you.”
What Cultivating Honor is Not
Knowing what honor is not is just an important as knowing what honor is.
People tend to confuse honor, respect, and obeying. These are not the same thing. You can honor someone without respecting them…and you can honor someone without obeying them.
Honor does not mean to obey.
Many people teach that when you honor someone you must obey them. This is not true. Honor is saying I have value for you…it does not mean I have to obey you.
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Deuteronomy 5:16
We are to honor our parents. God says that if we honor our parents then our days will be prolonged. Honoring your parents is having value for them. My parents are valuable to me. I; however, do not always obey them.
Honor does not mean to respect.
You can value people you don’t respect. You might want to read that again. Just because you do not respect someone doesn’t mean they don’t have value…especially in the eyes of God.
People gain and lose my respect, but my goal is to always hold them in a place of honor. I really do try to view them in the way God views them and provide a safe place for them to be the best God created them to be.
Honor People
We are to honor people. Sometimes we simply forget. Life gets hard and we find it difficult to honor those around us…this is epically true if we’ve lost respect for a person.
However, we must still strive to honor those around us for 3 main reasons. First, when you honor someone you are sowing honor that you will later reap. Second, honoring someone helps them be the best they can, which will create better work product. Third, cultivating a culture of honor will boost morale as it creates a safe place.
Honor Sows Honor
I’ll go more into this below, but honor sows honor. When you sow honor, you’ll reap honor. Do you want more honor in your life? If so, start honoring those around you.
It becomes a downward spiral when you don’t feel honored. When you don’t feel honored, it’s hard to honor others. But then when you don’t honor others, you’re not sowing honor. Worse…you could be sowing dishonor.
If you’re sowing dishonor, don’t be surprised to find that you’ll reap dishonor. You reap what you sow. So how do you break the cycle? Start sowing honor. Honor those around you.
Honor Improves Work Product
This is for all my leaders out there…when you feel honored you produce better work product. The same is true for your employees and team.
Are you running an online business? Do you have a small but mighty team? Ask your self this question…am I showing honor to my team members?
Make it a point to honor those working for you and around you…I promise you will see an increase in their productivity and in the quality of their work product. Why?
Because they feel safe. They feel secure. In an atmosphere of honor, they’re free and encouraged to be the best that God created them to be…and you know what? God created them to be awesome.
Honor your team members and you’ll have an awesome team.
Honor Boost Moral
When you cultivate an atmosphere of honor the morale of the entire place will increase. This is true for your job, your home, and your church.
You don’t have to be the boss to start cultivating honor. You can cultivate honor at any stage of an organization. Similar to what John C. Maxwell refers to as the 360 Degree Leader, you can start cultivating honor no matter your position.
When you do, you’ll begin to see the entire moral of the workplace change as other employees start to feel valued.
What about your home? You can cultivate honor in your own house hold. Maybe thats why the Bible tells us to honor our fathers and mothers. We get to sow honor into our very home.
If you’re married, honor your spouse. Being in a relationship where you feel valued changes everything. It will make a huge difference in your marriage…and if you have children…it will help ensure they grow up in a home that places a value on them and they’re free to become their best.
Finally, honor those at your church. Honor your pastor and each member of the congregation. This will dramatically improve morale in the church and cultivate an atmosphere that attracts new members. Do you want visitors to feel valued when they visit your church? Make honor one of your core values…and protect it all costs.
Honor Locations
You can honor more than just people, you can honor places. You can place a value on the places you visit, the place your work, your church, your home, etc.
What does this look like? Maybe it looks like helping it stay cleaned and maintained…an of coarse honoring those who serve or live there as well.
By honoring places you also show honor to the ones who work or live there as well. Therefore, you can still sow and cultivate honor.
This can go beyond physical places to the digital realm as well. You can honor sites such as your blog, Facebook, Instagram, other blogs, etc. You can honor by placing a value on them. What does that look like? Maybe it looks like not posting negative degrading content on yours or someone else wall.
You can honor other bloggers by leaving comments on their blog showing that you value them and their content. When you sow honor, you will reap honor.
Cultivating Honor
Honor is not created by accident. It is cultivated. Honor is reaped. When you sow honor you reap honor.
I will never forget the day that Alyn Jones called and asked if I wanted to join him for lunch.
My lunch with Alyn.
Alyn is a teacher that I hold in high respect and honor. I had mentioned a week earlier to his assistant that I wanted to schedule a lunch with him just to chat about my future and what I thought God was telling me. I figured it was going to be a couple of months before he was available for a lunch.
My plan was to take him to Burger Up, one of his favorite restaurants. When I take a leader out for lunch or coffee I always pay for theirs. Not to flatter them but because I want to honor them. I want to sow into their lives and show that I value them. This lunch turned out to be quite different.
I had plans that afternoon and so did Alyn. While texting back and forth we realized I was not going to be able to meet with him for very long because I had somewhere to be. He offered to reschedule, but I reassured him it was going to be a quick conversation.
I was thinking of places I could meet with him that would be quick as I wanted to honor his time and now I was pushed for time. While trying to figure it all out I received another text. Alyn told me just come to his house and he would make me lunch.
Alyn Jones make me lunch? He did. He made a stir fry from scratch with all the trimmings. This Scotsman is quite the cook. We talked as we devoured his culinary masterpiece. I felt an overwhelming sense of honor.
I was honored.
My goal was to honor him by buying him lunch. That didn’t work. Instead I was honored. He invited me to his house. He cooked a stir fry, from scratch, for me. All because I wanted to chat with him. He honored me. When you sow honor you reap honor.
How to Cultivate Honor
You might be asking the question, “Chris, this is great…but, now, how do I honor someone?” That’s a good question. You’re right to ask it. Here are my three steps to cultivating honor. First, communicate honor to people. Second, Listen to them when they speak. Third, encourage them. Finally, appreciate your differences.
Communicate
First, communicate. I’m not just saying become a better communicator, what I’m saying it literally tell them that you want to honor them. Just like we did at my ministry school. Go up to the person and ask if they have a moment. Then, look them in the eyes and say, “I just want to honor you. I want you to know that I value you. I see you as ….”
Let them know how you see them. Are they a good leader? Let them know that, but also give examples. As a culture we tend to shy away from this type of direct communication. Therefore, it might seem weird or difficult at first…but trust me. It’s worth it.
Listen
Next, listen to people. I struggle with this one…I admit. But it’s important to be a good empathetic listener. Meaning you don’t just hear the words, but you try and understand where they’re coming from.
Ask questions to get clarity to make sure you understand what they’re saying. It could be as simple as “What I hear you saying is….? This gives them a chance to explain and go deeper in the conversations. When people feel heard, they feel valued.
Encourage
The third thing you can do to cultivate honor is to encourage people. Let them know their doing a good job and there’s someone in their corner. Everybody needs encouragement. We are our own worst critics. If you think somebody is doing a great job, let them know.
When you encourage someone, you’re showing you not only value for their work, but also them as a person. This could be one of the simplest ways to start honoring those around you…but sadly it is often one of the most overlooked areas.
We tend to think people know we value them or their work so we don’t tell them. However, more often than not, the person really does need to hear it.
Appreciate Your Differences
Like Danny Silk said in the quote at the beginning of this article:
“One of the most vital core values for creating a safe place where people can be free is honor. Honor is the relational tool that protects the value that people have for those who are different than they are.” Danny Silk
Honor is a relational tool that protects the value that people have for those who are different than they are…meaning we recognize that people are different than us.
We must recognize that there are differences and learn to appreciate those differences. We don’t all think. The same, act the same, believe the same, etc. Even so, we must still honor those around us.
As honor shows we value the other, part of that value is realizing that we’re different and that that’s ok…in fact it’s good.
I don’t want everyone on my team to think exactly the same way I do. We need different thinking around us to help us make it through problems and obstacles. Learning to appreciate these differences will help you honor the other.
Remember, honor protects the value even though there are differences.
Conclusion
When you honor someone you’re saying “I have value for you.” Honor creates a safe place for people to become their best. You honor both people and places…but remember, honor is not created, it is grown…it is cultivated. You sow honor and then you reap honor.
You can start sowing honor today by communicating, listening, encouraging, and appreciating the differences in the people around you.
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Question: How will you start cultivating honor? Let me know in the comments.
