How to Forgive God

God does not need our forgiveness, but we need to have forgiven Him. In this article I give you 5 things you can do to develop a lifestyle of forgiving God. This is the third article in a series on forgiving God. If you haven’t yet, please read the first two articles: Does God Need Forgiving? and Why Forgive God? 

Forgiveness is not a one time event. You don’t pray a prayer and then all is good. It’s a process. The same is true when forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and even forgiving God. You must initiate the process and then maintain the process. 

In short forgiving God is letting Him off the hook. It’s no longer placing the blame on Him. 

Five things you can do to maintain the process and develop a lifestyle of forgiving God is (1) be honest with God; (2) make a list; (3) fight self-pity and the feeling of entitlement with everything you have; (4) choose to believe God has a purpose for what’s happening; and (5) be patient.

I’ll address each one in turn, and I pray you find them both practicable and applicable. Remember, forgiving God paves the way to intimacy and positions yourself to express your love like never before. 

To Forgive God is to Be Honest with God

One of the easiest ways to begin your journey of forgiving God is to be honest with Him. Psalm 142:2 states:

“I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him.”  

Try it. Pour out your complaint before God. Let Him know how you feel. Don’t hold anything back. I know this sounds bad because you might end of yelling at God, but He knows your thoughts and your heart already. 

When you’re being honest with someone, you remove your mask. You become vulnerable. That is how we ought to approach God…vulnerable. Remove your mask and show Him you. 

Remember, He loves you unconditionally. He loves YOU; therefore don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t pretend everything is fine when inside you are being torn apart. Bring that anxiety to your loving Father. He sees all that’s going on in your life and He wants you to approach Him with your concerns. 

I’ve met many people who feel like their concerns are too trivial for God. They believe their problems are not worth His time. It’s not true. If it matters to you then it matters to God. Especially, if the thing troubling you causes you to hold unforgiveness toward your loving Father. 

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5: 6-7). 

God longs to be with you and for you to experience His love. You can come to Him with any anxiety…simply because He cares for you. 

The Vacuum 

Remember, one of the reasons we might not receive all of the answers is because there has to be room for faith. A vacuum is created when you cast your anxieties on God. 

First, when all hope leaves, anxiety rushes in to take its place. You probably know the feeling well. When you go before your Father and cast those anxieties on Him, a vacuum is created. A vacuum that’s automatically filled with faith. 

Your anxieties are replaced with faith as you go before your Father and pour out your complaint before Him. You hear His voice as he declares His love for you, and then…when you leave…you depart with faith, leaving your complaints and troubles in the hands of a loving God. 

When you pour something out, you do so with the expectation of leaving it. The same is true with your complaints. You pour them out. You release them. Therefore, when you go before God, release your complaints. Allow Him to take hold of them. In return, you receive peace and faith. 

As this becomes a regular practice you’ll notice the process of forgiving God becomes easier and easier. After all…maybe one reason for the unanswered prayers is simply to give you space to trust Him…to be vulnerable before Him…to learn to love Him despite not receiving an answer.

Make a List

Keeping a heart of gratitude is of the utmost importance. Gratitude not only increases and sustains positive emotions and outlook, but it also stops patterns of negative thoughts. 

This year I’ve developed the habit of writing down three things I’m thankful for each morning and again each afternoon. It has helped me tremendously as it frames my day in gratitude. My day begins with positivity and it ends the same.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh. 

Thankfulness Brings Multiplication 

John chapter 6 tells the story of Jesus feeding five thousand men with only five loaves of bread and two fish. What I find truly remarkable about this event is Jesus never once said, “Father, please multiple this bread and fish.” He never even said, “More Lord!” What He did say and do was give thanks. 

“Jesus then took the loaves, and having given thanks, He distributed to those who were seated; likewise also of the fish as much as they wanted. (John 6:11) (emphasis added). 

I think there’s a multiplication that occurs when you’re thankful. Jesus didn’t have to ask God to multiply the bread…He merely had to be grateful for what He had.

I’m trying to become more proactive in offering my thanks to God. When I’m blessed, I want to thank Him. Not only because I’m truly grateful, but also because I know there’s multiplication in thanksgiving. 

You want more? Maybe, we ought to begin by being thankful with what we have. Has God blessed you? Be thankful and tell Him you’re thankful. 

Grow Your Capacity for Gratitude

As Piglet noticed, a very small heart can still hold a rather large amount of gratitude. Your capacity for gratitude grows as you use it. It does not deplete. The more gratitude you show the more grateful you become. 

This impacts not only your relationship with God, but also others and yourself. Gratitude not only helps position you to totally forgive God, but it also stops patterns of negative thoughts and maintains a positive outlook. 

Continuous gratitude is the perfect vitamin for your soul after removing Ungodly Beliefs. The importance of gratitude is not merely my opinion but has been confirmed by a psychological study. 

The journal of Personality and Social Psychology published an article titled,  “Counting Blessings Versus Counting Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life.”

Fight Self-Pity and the Feeling of Entitlement

Telling God “Thank You,” also helps fight self-pity and…the very close feeling…entitlement. In today’s culture we tend to grow up believing the world owes us something. 

We believe we’re owed a job, a decent living, or an education. All of these things are great, but are not necessarily something society owes us. They’re something we have to work—and work hard— to obtain. 

Because we’re harboring these beliefs towards society and are inevitably transferring these feelings toward God. We tend to overlook Lamentations 3:22, which teaches us it is “[t]hrough the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed., because His compassions fail not.” 

It’s only by the grace of God we’re not being consumed. It’s only by the Lord’s mercies we don’t perish in the night. He sent His only son to be murdered in order to save humanity…despite the fact that 100% of humanity turned their back on Him. Yet, we have the audacity to tell Him He owes us! 

Harboring self-pity and a feeling of entitlement poisons your relationship with God and hinders your ability to quickly forgive Him. Therefore, fight self-pity with everything you have. 

Continue to remain thankful and tell Him often. There are three things you can do—in addition to maintaining a position gratitude— to help keep self-pity and a feeling of entitlement from becoming a problem in your life.

Three things You Can do to Fight Self-Pity and a Feeling of Entitlement

Three things you can do to fight self-pity and a feeling of entitlement are (1) know what you’re seeking, (2) embrace failures as opportunities, and (3) know the fruit of self-pity and the feeling of entitlement. 

These three will help you not only recognize self-pity and entitlement, but will also help you remove self-pity and entitlement from your thought process. The first is simple, know what you are seeking. 

1: Know What You’re Seeking

Some things in life are earned through hard work, challenges, and discomfort. There’s no way around it. There are some things in life that are simply earned, and their hard to get. 

Therefore, when you’re holding unforgiveness against God for not allowing something to happen, step back and ask yourself, “Did I do my job to co-labor with God on this?” 

Maybe you did. I know there are projects I worked on and worked on hard that I was sure God was going to bless, but it just didn’t turn out that way. I had to forgive God for those moments. Maybe you ought to as well. However, there were some projects I simply did not put in the work. I didn’t earn it. 

Be careful not to transfer this idea of earning to your relationship with God. We can never earn our relationship with God. You don’t work for sonship…you work out of it. You cannot earn love a love that’s free…but you can work out of that love. 

In regard to our labor on earth, we’re called to co-labor with God. Co-labor still includes the word “labor.” Meaning you still have to do the work. Therefore, ask yourself, have I done my due diligence? Is this challenge or discomfort a part of completing my goal? If it is then hold on. 

Ms. Louise, a woman who made a huge impact in my life, told me many times, “Chris, remember God still moves mountains, but sometimes He expects us to bring the shovels.” Is God simply asking you to bring your shovel?

2: Embrace Failures as Opportunities

When we fail, we tend to blame. We blame others, we blame God, and we blame ourselves. The issue; however, becomes did we really fail? I think most people misuse the words “mistake” and “fail.” Failure means a lack of success. It’s a final decree…the final word. 

This project is a failure. That means this project is no more…its done. You’re never a failure. Why? Because you’re never done! God continues to work in us and through us. We’re not done. Our story is not over. You’re not a failure. 

When we make, what we call failures, maybe we should embrace those “failures” as opportunities. 

To embrace a failure as an opportunity we simply need to see what the failure actually is…a mistake. A mistake is simply an action or judgement that was wrong. It’s never the end result…meaning we continue to move forward and we learn from the mistake. 

Too many times I’ve quit a project because I made a mistake. I might have even finished the majority of the project, but once one mistake was made I trashed the project. I was confusing making a mistake and failing. 

Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Can you imagine watching a play where an actor makes a mistake and then the director comes out yelling “Cut, the play’s over. Everybody go home.” That sounds absurd…yet we do that to ourselves all the time. 

Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes or as Bob Ross would call them, “happy accidents.”

Mistakes Equal Success

Thomas Edison, the inventor of the phonograph…and some other cool stuff, once stated:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” 

Successful people make a ton of mistakes, that’s what makes them successful. They make mistakes, but instead of declaring themselves a failure or getting angry with themselves, others, or God, they learn from their mistakes and use them as opportunities to try again. 

Eventually…they get it right. Thomas Edison, when asked about his failures in making the the light bulb, simply replied:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” 

That 10,001 attempt successfully created the light build…that worked…and forever changed the world. Maybe, your success is in the next attempt. Maybe it’s in the next five attempts. I couldn’t tell you, but I can say if you declare it to be a failure then you’ll be right. 

You’ll fail, not because God deemed it so but because you did. Deeming a project a failure is fine if you no longer want to pursue the goal; however, don’t blame others or God for your decision because it was just that…your decision. 

3: Know the Fruit of Self-Pity and the Feeling of Entitlement 

Another way you can fight self-pity and the feeling of entitlement is to know the fruit. The fruit of self-pity and the feeling of entitlement work much like the game Plink-o from The Price is Right. 

You’ve probably seen this game. If you haven’t, Plink-o is a game where the contestant stands at the top of a platform and drops a puck down an incline. As the puck slides down the incline it hits all these bars pushing it to one side or another. Eventually, the punk lands at the bottom in one of several prize categories.

The puck begins at the top and though it might go one way or another, it eventually ends at the bottom. The same is true with the fruit of self-pity and the feeling of entitlement…it enviable ends with a certain type of fruit.

Disappointment 

The fruit of self pity and the feeling of entitlement begins with disappointment. You really desired God to do something. You were really expecting healing, that job promotion, or your relationship to work. Whatever the case maybe…when what you were expecting didn’t occur, you were disappointed. 

It’s at this point we need to be quick to forgive because if we don’t we’ll be releasing the puck…and it will slide down the Plink-o slide. 

Anger

Hope differed makes the heart sick. When we choose not to forgive, we’re allowing disappointment to grow and fester. This disappointment will soon be changed into anger as the puck slides down the incline. 

Disappointment in God has now transformed into anger towards God. We’re angry with God because we feel He let us down…that He turned His back on us. 

Here, we still have the opportunity to reach down and stop the puck. It’s not out of our reach yet. We can still forgive God. We can release God from our unforgiveness. However, if we don’t…the puck will hit the bottom…falling into the prize category of criticism.

Criticism 

Criticism is the best and quickest way to poison a relationship. 

Where unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick…criticism is like drinking poison…and when the other person doesn’t get sick…taking everything important from your relationship and setting it on fire. Then sitting back and watch as the relationship burns. 

This may seem extreme, it’s may be closer to the truth than you may think. Do you know any critical people? How do you interact with them? Do you trust them with your feelings? Do you trust them with the things most important to you? Probably not. 

When we become critical of God, we create faults in our Heavenly father…which doesn’t exist. We’re creating a wrong view of God and then we behave accordingly. 

How are we suppose to continue in a loving relationship with God when we truly believe He’s the abusive uncle. We can’t. Criticism must be rooted out of our relationships and the way to so is through forgiveness. 

What About When Criticism Sets In?

It’s harder to forgive God once criticism sets in, but it’s far from impossible. You have to step down from the platform, walk to the bottom, and grab the puck out of the criticism prize box. 

Reaching down and merely grabbing the puck will no longer work. You have to step down from your high place and become low. However, once you do make the effort, God will sustain you and restore you to your high place. 

Therefore, it’s imperative we fight self-pity and the feeling of entitlement with everything we have. We can do this by knowing what we’re seeking, embracing failures as opportunities, and by knowing the fruit of self-pity and a feeling of entitlement. 

Fighting self-pity and a feeling of entitlement will position you to be quick to forgive. Another way to position yourself to be quick to forgive is to choose to believe God has a purpose. 

Choose to Believe God has a Purpose

When your life seems to be unraveling and falling apart, it becomes easy to blame God; however, there’s one choice we can make that will positions us to be quick to forgive. We must choice to believe God has a purpose. 

We must believe God has a purpose in our life…even in the situation we now face. We’re able to receive faith and the strength to persevere by “…know[ing] that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28).

He causes all things to work together for good…that includes your situation. God might not have caused the situation nor may He be responsible for it; nonetheless, God, within His love and goodness, is able and willing to work out the situation for your good.

Be Thankful Through the Storm 

Our responses to adverse situations might be to panic, complain, and then blame God. However, when we firmly believe God has a purpose for our life and is able to use our predicament to further His will…we’re able to weather the storm and remain not only faithful—but thankful—throughout the tempest.

Be thankful God has a purpose for your life…and tell Him so. Inform God you remain forever thankful for His plan over your life. Try using this prayer: 

Father, though I may not be able to perceive your plan at this moment, thank you for having a plan. Thank you for remaining faithful. Thank you for being so kind, so good, and so loving. I know this situation will work together for good because I love you and you have called me according to your purpose. 

The Story of Joseph

Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, left for dead, sold into slavery, and thrown into prison; however, when his brothers approached him—many years later—seeking help, Joseph was able to forgive them and God. 

Joseph realized it was all part of God’s plan. Maybe everything did not go exactly the way Joseph would have liked, but in the end Joseph was able to say:

 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” (Genesis 50:20). 

Your loving Father says:

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (Jerimiah 29:11). 

God’s Plan

He knows the plans He has for you. They’re great plans with a great purpose. They’re plans for health, happiness, prosperity, success, and protection. They offer a future and hope. They’re not plans for distress, affliction, or tragedy. 

I understand sometimes we do face distress, we do experience affliction, and we sometimes suffer tragedies. However, as I hope you’ve come to realize…we must forgive God for those events. He didn’t cause them, but He did allow them to happen. 

Even so, we must trust in His goodness. We must trust He has a plan for our lives and that in someway…though it might not be perceivable to us…He’s going to work this out for our good. 

We might not understand the intricacies of God’s plan until we reach the other time of eternity; however, I work to position myself to forgive God today…offering Him thanks in the midst of life’s worst moments…simply because He loves me and still has a purpose for my life. 

Be Patient

One last way we can position ourselves to be quick to forgive God is to remain patient with Him. Patience something most people prefer not to learn. I know it wasn’t one of attributes I wanted perfected. Truth is God will help you. Patience is not a goal…it’s a fruit…a fruit of the Spirit. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23) (emphasis added). 

Therefore, keep in mind—as we address patience—that patience is not something we strive for, but is a fruit. Focus on loving God and the fruit will take care of itself. 

How does patience help us be quick to forgive God? Well, sometimes we must be patient as we wait for everything to become clear. Sometimes it clears up quickly and other times we might not be given understanding this side of eternity. 

When seeking answers from the Lord, sometimes you must simply “[w]ait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14).

Isaiah informs us that:

“…the Lord waits to be gracious to [us], and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to [us]. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” (Isaiah 30:18 ESV).

God has been so patient with me. He patiently waits to be gracious to me and He’s gracious to me every opportunity I give Him. God waits for me to turn to Him and then God unleashes His love.

Patient Examples

Sometimes we must be patient for God’s will to manifest. Think about David who, after being anointed king, waited twenty years before receiving the crown. He had the anointing but not the authority…the promise, but not the position. David stayed in this situation for twenty years. 

The Israelites were in the desert for forty years before entering the promised land. Jesus waited thirty years before beginning His ministry. Joseph waited twenty-two years before seeing his dream fulfilled. 

Blessed are those who wait for the Lord. Blessed are those who are patient with Him. If you haven’t seen a promise of God fulfilled, be patient with Him. But what if your unforgiveness doesn’t stem from an unfulfilled promise but from a something God allowed to happen?  

When Something was Allowed to Happen

There are somethings I’ll not understand in this life…and thats okay. What about the murders who go free? What about the rapist who were never brought to justice? Will the corrupt politicians ever have to answer for their lies? 

The Lord is a God of justice. Therefore, though I might not receive the answer in this life, I know one day we will witness the greatest vindication in all of history as God clears His name. 

“Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God.” (1 Corinthians 4:5). 

In the meantime…

“… be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.” (James 5:7-8). 

Conclusion

The five things you can do to maintain the process and develop a lifestyle of forgiving God is (1) be honest with God; (2) make a list; (3) fight self-pity and the feeling of entitlement with everything you have; (4) choose to believe God has a purpose for what’s happening; and (5) be patient.

This is the last article in a series on forgiving God:

Does God Need Forgiving?

Why Forgive God?

How to Forgive God

I can’t promise the process is easy, but I can promise it’s worth it. Spend time with God each and every day. The more time you spend with God, the more you love God. If you want to go deeper on this subject, read my article To Know God is to Love God. 

Unforgiveness can keep us from spending time with God. Maybe this is something you already struggle with. If so, please consider taking the quiet time challenge.

Quiet Time Challenge

If you struggle having a consistent and enjoyable quiet time, join me for a 5-Day Quiet Time Challenge. In addition to receiving my free quiet time guide, detailing the five things I do when having a quiet time, you’ll also receive one email a day during the challenge to help kick start your quiet time. Join the challenge and get my free guide.

Take the Quiet Time Challenge

 

Question: How would you fight the feeling of entitlement? Let me know in the comments.