1. “Bee” Yourself
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Be Yourself” is the easiest piece of advise to give but the hardest to follow. We spend a great deal of effort trying to be anything but ourselves. The root of this is shame. We are afraid that if we let people really get to know us then they will want to walk away. Shame is different from regret. We regret the things we did; however, we are shameful about who we are.
Shame is believing that you are flawed beyond repair. We are so afraid people will discover who we are that we try and control every situation. Hence, people never really get to know us. My best friends are my best friends because I don’t have to pretend around them. I don’t have to act. I get to be me. When I hang out with them I feel alive.
These are the people who know your dark secrets and yet they love you all the same. You want to know a secret? I bet everyone will love me if I allow them to know me. The same is true with you. Try it. Approach a friendship with the attitude of “I’m giving you the freedom to be you and I’m giving myself the freedom to be me.” Being yourself and trustworthiness goes hand in hand. In order to be trustworthy you must also be authentic.
2. Be Trustworthy
When people are asked what trait they look for in a significant other, one of the most common answers is “trustworthiness.” Trust is like a fine crystal wine glass. It’s expense, hard to find and easy to break if you abuse it. It’s easy to trust people when you don’t approach them in fear. Fear says I’ll only get as close as I’m comfortable. You can see this dynamic in deer. A deer will approach you until it thinks you’re going to capture it. Then it’s gone. Hunting season is over in your life. Allow people to come to you and don’t violate that trust. Don’t Gossip.
“Gossip is when you share a problem with someone who isn’t part of the solution.”― Alyn Jones.
When people share their problems with you, be a solution. A shoulder to cry on. When I hear people gossip, I lose all trust in that person. When they abuse the trust other people has placed in them, how do I know they won’t do the same to me? Relationships grow when value and trust becomes a two way street.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ― Ernest Hemingway
I know you were hoping for this. Challenge: Watch the entire clip without smiling.
